Photography with the Left Eye

The management at Photography with the Left Eye is always striving to improve your customer experience. And, as you know, the difficult economy has made it difficult to provide the same level of service as we have in the past; of course you are aware that other Left Eye Bloggers have adjusted their service levels, and as a result we must as well.

Finally, many of you are concerned about consequences of the blog post that we withdrew after it caused uncontrolled acceleration. Our CEO will be testifying before Congress shortly, but rest assured that we have taken steps to allow our readers to manually apply their brakes at any time while experiencing our blog posts, whether as a driver or passenger. We are certain that our political system is not responsible for any unintended acceleration, and are fully investigating all tea party and Glenn Beck mechanisms in our blogging systems.

With that said, we are immediately implementing a number of changes to enhance your experience. While we have previously allowed reading of posts in their entirely, we realize that not all customers need all aspects of our posts.

Beginning on December 14, 2005, we will implement a modest entry charge for all blog posts.

We will phase in the following other fees. (In order to be sure you don’t notice them, they will be listed as “information service fees” on your cell phone bill. What’s one more junk fee?)

Readers who actually read the text will receive a rebate, paid via a gift card for any Circuit City store.

Readers who only look at the photos will be billed additionally via your utility company, and will be eligible for a wide variety of products to enhance your sexual performance (check your email now…our system is so efficient that you may already have several!).

Comments will be free of charge, although any comment that flogs your get rich quick pyramid scheme will result in a recurring charge on your credit card bill, which can only be stopped by a personal visit to an unlisted address in Lagos, Nigeria.

Thank you for your patience. These changes will allow us to continue to provide the rich experience that you have come to expect from Photography from the Left Eye. We will continue to evaluate all of our revenue streams, and may make further adjustments to our payment policies from time to time. These changes will be reflected in our user agreement, which can be found on any public website.

Caitlin